Boundaries: Are your limits to the world.
Boundaries are like a secret superpower for your well-being. They help you protect your energy, reduce daily stress, and build up your confidence and self-esteem. Healthy boundaries make relationships richer and more meaningful, but let's be honest—setting boundaries can be intimidating, especially if you've never learned how.
Think of boundaries as your personal limits. They can be spoken or unspoken and communicate what you're okay with to the people around you. Many people struggle with them because they grew up in environments where boundaries weren't modelled. Maybe you had a parent who said "yes" to everything, even when exhausted, or one who always put others before themselves.
Society often applauds these behaviours, but the hidden cost is resentment, burnout, and even physical health issues.
How do you know your boundaries might be unclear?
- You dread saying "no" and feel a wave of guilt when you do.
- You put others’ needs before your own and feel shame for wanting to prioritize yourself.
- You rarely ask, “What do I want?” and struggle to honour your own needs.
Real-Life Examples of Boundaries
1. Saying "no" to extra work: If your boss asks you to stay late, and you’re already drained, politely decline and explain that you have commitments outside work. Follow through without over-apologizing or justifying yourself.
2. Prioritizing your needs: If you're exhausted after a long day, skip a social event. Send a kind message to let your friends know you need rest and take the time to recharge.
Tips for Setting Boundaries
1. Detach from others' emotions: Remember, people's reactions to your boundaries are about them—not you. For example, if a friend calls you “selfish” for saying no, it reflects their frustration, not your actions.
2. Step away after saying "no": If you're worried about their reaction, leave the situation—turn off your phone or take a breather. This gives you space to stay firm.
3. Commit to actions over words: Instead of explaining or apologising, demonstrate your boundary through action. For example, if a family member asks for a favour that crosses your limits, calmly decline and avoid over-explaining.
It takes practice, but boundaries quickly become second nature, helping you reclaim your energy, time, and happiness and the best part? You’re teaching others how to respect and value you!
I know this was a hard life skill for me to learn and at times I still say "yes" when I mean no!. With practice it does get easier.
Would love to hear your thoughts, perspectives and opinions on this topic.
Natalia x
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